Santa Maria Times from Santa Maria, California • 5

Santa Maria, Tlmtt, Tutidoy, Auguit 3, 1982 Eicj-cn rihito 925-2691 Combating a child's resistance to healthy change Sixth in a series of 10 within that child, we do, eventually, become frustrated and angry with the persistence of the problem, and then withdraw our sympathy. The "unlikeable" problems are lying, stealing, drug and alcohol abuse, sexual promiscuity (in girls), poor grades in school, and failure to keep a job. What makes these problems unlikeable is that they suggest strongly that the child will not be able to "make it" in the world. In many this second category of problems embarrasses the parents as well by coming to the attention of teachers, social workers, the police and other members of the community. Parents come under public scrutiny, and if the officials Involved don't carry out their roles supportively, the parents feel scolded and placed in the same category as their problem children.

This makes parents even angrier at their children. The first thing that must be done is to differentiate between the troubled children and their parents. If both generations are equally troubled, outside persons will be needed to offer support to the parents. If the parents have no great conflicts that Impair their ability to redirect the family, then their initial move should be to restructure their behavior to make them become more attractive leaders to their children (who have always denied the need for leadership). Attractive leadership behavior is confident, cheerful, calm and firm.

Often when we are giving direction to our children, the issue of love becomes entangled with enforcement of leadership. Ordinarily our desire is to behave In a loving, often compliant manner. We resent "being put in the role of a policeman" and would rather our child just did the right thing, with minimal supervision. However, resentful or reluctant supervision is the poorest kind. It is important to view supervision as taking care of your children.

Sometimes it is done with a pat on the back or sensitive listening, and other times it is done with firm directions, in a case where a child needs supervision because of trouble with drugs, alcohol or the law, a parent has to be able to say. "I love you but I don't trust you. I know that someday I will be able to trust you but not Just yet. Until that times comes, I will be supervising you excessively and I'm afraid you'll have to accept it." A major obstacle to parents redirecting their children's behavior is the difficulty parents have in elevating their own self-esteem for the role of a positive and guiding person. We must once again raise the prestige of parents to its former status.

Then, it By Sfeven Levenkron Many parents, as a result of their child's problems with school, drugs or delinquency, experience a time when "things must change." While there is no individual formula for resolving the child's problems, or new parental or sibling behavior, there are guidelines that hold for achieving beneficial changes within a family. When parents wish to initiate change in the conduct of their children, the first change must occur in the posture of the parents toward their children. "Posture" here means general bearing, tone of voice and a sense of authority as well as the offering of kindness and sensitivity. How available' parents make themselves to their children also becomes part of the strategy for change. "Authority" does not mean tyranny, nor does kindness mean allowing a parent to be exploited by the child.

If your child is in trouble with school, friends, drugs, alcohol or the law, it means he or she is floundering, confused, and committed or compelled to a course of action of of misdirected emotional need. Some children have more "likeable" problems than others. The more likeable problem may be the expression of feelings of physical, social or intellectual 'inferiority. This kind of behavior usually brings out the helper in us and makes us want to offer attention and to that child. If our attention and care fail to create change UNDER.

II PUBLIC If will be easier for all of us to assert caring leadership toward our children. In the 1960s, many of us were the children who sang Bob Dylan's refrain, "The Times They are a It was a way of indicting all authority. Now, we are the parents of the 1980s, and it is time to revise the refrain to declare that guidance and leadership can be competent and valuable. NEXT: Make your child fruit you How to survive as a parent Badure brothers and sisters gather for family reunion here a welcoming speech by host Boyd Thompson and a prayer by Sally Thompson. After dinner the Badure Family History was given by La Von Adair and Martha Schreiber.

Each relative was presented a book of the Family History and engraved plaques were given to different members of the family in memory of those who had died. Entertainment was provided by Ventriloquist Roger Pon and Gary. The Loni Ky Pancers presented Polynesian dancing. The Thompson children, Tim, Julie, Rhonda and Kelly, hosted "Cousin's Day" Saturday, with beaching, visiting, hot tubbing and racquet ball. That evening everyone gathered for a sit-down dinner at Alexander's The Badure Family held a 3-day reuniqn July 16, 17 and 18 in Santa Maria, hosted by Boyd and Sally Thompson and children Tim, Julie.

Rhonda and Kelly. Eight sisters and three brothers of Mrs. Thompson, one of the Badures, were able to attend, along with their children and family friends. Days were spent looking at family pictures on display, visiting at the Thompson home and hot tubbing. Friday night the family gathered at Trader Nicks, Pismo Beach, for a cocktail hour on the sun deck when each brother and sister was presented with silk flower corsages and boutonnieres from their oldest sister, Martha Schreiber.

A sit-down dinner followed, with a reunion cake and She later married Loyd Leslie Hurst in 1953. but he only lived until 1957. She continued to work at cafes and motels in Philip and Kodaka. I) Her final home was in Miles City, Mont, where she lived near some of her children and worked at the Custer County Rest Home She died on May 24, 1962. The eight sisters attending included Martha Badure Schreiber and George, Miles City.

Hilda Badure Patrick and husband Cecil. Bodfish, Calif Emma Badure Hettich and husband Oscar, Seattle, Wash Edna Badure Ewalt, Santa Maria; Thelma Badure Wagoner and husband, Bob. Bodfish; Violet Badure Hagstrom and husband, Walt, of Henderson, Nev. La Von Badure Thompson and husband, Ramsey, of Hystam, Mont, and Kay Badure Sadller, Culver City. Brothers attending were Albert Badure and wife, Irene, of Mobridge, John Badure and wife.

Jeannie, of Mobridge. and Allen Badure and wife, Dianne, of Belvidere, S.D. Due to illness, oldest brother Bill Badure, from Mobridge, was unable to attend. He was represented by his oldest son, Don Badure, and wife, Sharon, of Renton, Wash. Children of the brothers and sisters, representing the second generation of the family, also attended.

These included Tim and Julie Thompson of Santa Barbara; Rhonda Thompson, San Diego; Kelly Thompson. Santa Maria; Phil lis, Ty and Guy Kailey, Miles City, Don Sharon and Brad Badure, Renton, Sharon Fisher. Bismarck. N.D Maxine Garcia, Albuquerque. N.M.; Alan Wagener, Casper.

Wyo. Mark Badure. Bellingham, Marlyn Badure, Seattle, Wash Greg and Baxter Badure. Belvidere. S.D.; Larry, Terry and Todd Love, Lakeside; Stella.

Jerry and Rob Bertsch. Bloomington. Minn, and Sherry Staab. Seattle Harvest, followed by dancing to Sunshine and Company. A Santa Maria-style barbecue was held at the Thompson's on Sunday, with Mark and JoAnna Knepp of Santa Maria as chefs.

Entertainment was presented by Bill Alloway. The family history shows that Philip Badure was born in West Russia or Ukrainian on Nov. 12, 1881 to Constant and Martha Badure. Not much is known about his early family life until after he came to the U.S. He married Katherine Dupper at Mound City, D.

on Nov. 15, 1906. From this marriage four children were born. All are deceased but Edwin Edward "Bill" Badure, living in Mobridge, S.D. Katherine died on Dec.

23. 1911. He then married Pauline Sieler Wacker on July 10, 1912 in Java. S.D. There were no children from this union.

His third wife was Rose Blondo, whom he married in 1917 in Bowdle, S.D. She died of the flu in 1918. Hii fourth wife was Lydia Berreth and they were wed in Isabel. S.D. on July 16, 1919.

They had 14 children, although one child died at birth. He homesteaded about 15 miles southwest of Firesteel, D. in 19K and was engaged in farming for himself until the time of his rlrath in 1944 at Aberdeen, S.D. In the 30s he helped build projects under the WPA program and moved his farming operation in those years to the southeast of Isabel, S.D. Lydia considered "Ma" of the Badure family, was born on April 17, 1900 to Leonard and Margaret Berreth at Linton, N.D.

She outlived her husband and sold the family farm after his death and operated the Lacota Hotel and Cafe in Isabel and worked as a domestic to support her younger children. i yWH' I liui ill wmK; -y I. im i iium jiiuMw.nMiimii mimin immimnia V. 4 V'4 mi sr( -V 'P-m iW If I Brum family reunion, barbecue held at Arroyo Grande park Members of the Badure Family gather in a Santa Maria back yard for picture Seated, from left, Hilda, Allen, John, Albert and Martha. Standing, from left, Thelma, Violet, Kay, La Von, Edna, Emma and Sally Fur most luxurious of fabrics Quaresma and family, all ot Arroyo Grande; Kirk and Karen Lemon and family of Santa Cruz and Wade and Tina Howatt of Sonoma From the family of Louisa Brum Silva was her son, Everett, and his wife Betty Silva of Guadalupe; Hilda Silva and Tom and Jeanette Hemry and family all of Santa Barbara Daughters of Isabel Brum Brazil attending were Mary Lela Brazil, Vivian Candini and her husband Louis, Genevieve Ingram and her husband Herman, all of Santa Maria.

Also from that family were Beverly Candini and her daughter and Lori Brazil Hernadez, all of Santa Maria. Also attending were Mr. and Mrs. James Murphy, Florence Schmidt. Elinor Doughtery and Edith Gam-boa.

The group is planning to make the reunion an annual affair with the next one tentatively scheduled ARROYO GRANDE Descendants of Manuel and Maria Brum met recently at Biddle Park in Arroyo Grande for a family reunion and barbecue. The Brums first came to California with their children 100 years ago from Fayal in the Azores Islands. They first settled in San Luis Obispo and later moved into the upper Arroyo Grande valley. The chimney of their original homestead remained for many years on a hillside now covered by the waters of Lopez Lake. The only surviving child of the couple, Mary Brum Silva of Santa Maria, attended, as did her children Velma Bailey of Phoenix, Ariz, and Manuel and Addie Brass of Santa Maria.

Descendants enjoying the afternoon from the family of Manuel S. Brum, Jr. were Elizabeth Brum of Ontario, Geraldine Brum Forsyth of Pomona, Lucille Brum Reddy of Oceano and Mary Brum Vidal of OrcutlT all daughters of Manuel S. Brum, Joy Bettencourt, Jo and Norma Pope and Butch and Vickie Pope and family, all of Arroyo Grande; Paul and Martha Bettencourt and Lou and Sue Brum and family, all of Santa Maria; Richard and Darlene Vidal and family and Allen Vidal and family, all of Orcutt; Ronald and Dorothy Bettencourt of Poway and Tom Bettencourt of San Francisco. Descendants of Maria Brum Quaresma attending were Evelene Quaresma Lovasz, daughter; Nat and Theresa Gracia and family, Bill and Gerrie Quaresma, Mike and Terry Peterson and family, Mark and Tina the five women running it showed that could be handled with all the freedom of fabric.

In recent seasons, designers did extravagantly patterned furs that demonstrated how far fur working could go. Having made the point, many have abandoned patterns for more subtle ways of working furs. Valentino for Revillon emphasizes shape, such as a fit-and-flare long mink jacket with kimono sleeves, coats with delicately shirred yokes and sleeve tops, and mink in slim shapes with fluffy fox cuffs and borders. Karl Lagerfeld of the Paris fashion house Chloe, who has been designing for Fendi, also creates a "Chloe" collection for New York's Goldin-Feldman. He likes' a neat silhouette, such as his belted, side-closed American cat lynx jacket with dolman top width.

By Florence De Santis Newspaper Enterprise Assn. NEW YORK (NEA) In the highly conservative fur industry, early attempts to use fashion designers 'quickly foundered. The fur makers couldn't agree with the fashion designers' natural propensity to use fur as if it wore fabric. Times have changed. Nowadays, fashion designers are everywhere in the fur field.

this fall's styles are based entirely on the approach that fur is another fabric, even if the most luxurious of all. Credit the Fendi fur house of Rome, Italy, with startling the industry into accepting that approach. Fendi, after all, was a straiehtforward fur house, yet for July 1983. The giraffe has a tongue so long it uses it to clean its ears. UrUilLH CELEBRITY CIPHER CaMytty Ciphr cryptogram ftr craaMd from Quotation by njmrjua pwpla.

pact nd praam Each MM tha dprnr itcnoa tor inotfxr. rooay'icaa. LaouaMP. "HI GYAS YZ ZHQT DSBBYROS QEEM DTPD DTS AOY3Z POO QTYLLSU YW DE AY DT8 MYDQTSW ZQB83W UEEB." BEUWSI UPWVSBAYSOU PREVIOUS th time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong." Frankie Avalon 1985 by NEA. Inc.

027S BIRTHS Marianledical A boy born to Mr. and Mrs. Timothy Blasdell. 376 Julian Drive, Aug. 2.

A boy born to Mr. and Mrs. Jose Herrera, P.O. Box 634. Guadalupe.

Aug. 2. A boy born to Mr. and Mrs. Manuel Nunez, 1685 Laurel Solvang, Aug.

2. A girl born to Mr. and Mrs. Randy Rosenthal, 1417 Oak Knoll Road, Aug. 2.

We've a truckload of VANITIES in Oak Birch Pine 3 liVVmUigiJi; plus VANITY TOPS Sold in Onyx, Cultured Marble, and Formica Sold Separately or with Vanity a 3 I T1 MPTBl I I tvilLJU. DISTINCTIVE CABINETRY BY I 1 III I 1 LUt IB I OHM 35 gallons of pure drinking water per week $Q25 For Only Call Eob Bash at 925-6555 Valley Hospital A bov born to Mr. and Mrs Ross Cheadle, P.O. Box 666. Arroyo Grande, Aug.

2. ii: KITCHEN CABINETS BATM VANITIES COUNTER TOPS APPLIANCES -v a. 212 W. Main 922-1490 mi Hill niiiiiiili iimiiii i -in 1 Mnii'l "liwiiaVjiafiSiiSiiiii imaaaatfraaMB iMW.